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Not much has happened over the past week to go in to detail about, so I thought I would turn this a little more introspective. But first... I did put together / take part in an awesome slip and slide event / barbecue / amazingness this afternoon / evening. We set up the slip and slide, made refreshments, made burgers, invited friends over, slipped, slid, built a ramp for the slip and slide, and consequently slipped and slid through the air. It was much fun. Also consequently to the slip and slide (and likely its airborne nature) my right leg is too sore to lift more than about three inches. But anyway, the evening is being concluded with some ice cream, some writing, and some coding.

Now on to other topics. This summer has already been an amazing experience. I still miss home, miss being around a lot of special people in my life that I am very close to; however, I am getting to know a lot of new people here from a lot of different places and that have a lot of different perspectives on life. I came to the realization a couple weeks ago that I am here, I put myself in this situation, this life, so I might as well take advantage of it. I would say that I really have been taking advantage, getting to see a lot of new things, working with a lot of distinguished people, and, once again, gaining a lot of new perspectives on life. I am extremely happy about all of this, but getting this chance has also thrown my plans for the future out the window and for really the first time in my life, I am questioning what I want to do with it.

I have always been the kid with the plan, that knows exactly what he wants to do when he grows up, and have been on a rocky, but distinct, path toward that. For at least the past four or five years, that path has been toward grad school, toward a PhD, toward becoming a professor. I am now starting to wonder if that is what I really want. Hell, I'm starting to wonder why it was this path I magically came up with and have stuck to for year after year. So now I am finding myself in the situation of essentially doing work as if I were a PhD student, and I don't know if its what I want. Getting a PhD means spending six years trying to focus in on some tiny, minuscule problem, and become the world expert on that topic. While becoming a world expert sounds awesome, I just can't see myself focusing on some tiny little problem for that long.

An undergraduate degree (and master's) is about breadth, its about learning the basis of an entire field so that you can then apply yourself in that field and fill some need. A PhD is about depth, its about becoming the world renowned leader in some tiny little area. I am working with these people, and I realize I am about breadth. There are a few people I am working with (primarily professors) that are geniuses, they just get it, their minds catch things faster and with more comprehension than anyone else, even if it has nothing to do with their field. But the vast majority of the post-doc department members (already have their PhDs), and PhD students really aren't that smart over all, they are just really super knowledgable in their sub-(sub-sub-)subjects. They are experts in their tiny area of the field, but as you get further away from their area of expertise, they know less and less. I am the exact opposite. I know a decent amount about a lot of things, but not a huge amount about any one topic. I find all areas of computer science (along with 20 million other areas you can find in and out school) interesting enough that I like to study them, I like to come up to date, I like to understand them, and use logic and reasoning to apply and expand that understanding, but I have no real interest in focusing on them. I have no interesting in spending 5 years figuring out why one fly's wing has a different pattern on it from another fly's wings based off in what climate their larvae developed. For that reason, I am questioning whether a PhD program is the right path for me.

Speaking of this, I am also questioning whether I want to focus on computer science, digital arts, or some blend of the two. One option I am considering is a Masters in Entertainment Technology (MET) degree. This is essentially a two year masters program that blends comp sci and digital arts to be geared toward the entertainment industry. The MET is a degree that is only offered in the US at Carnegie Mellon. I believe that they created it, but I am not positive. Anyway, they offer the degree through the Entertainment Technology Center (part of CMU) which is primarily based in Pittsburgh, but also has satellite campuses (that students can choose to attend for part of the degree) in Redwood City / Mountain View (CA), Portugal, Japan, and Singapore. The only thing remotely close to this program that I have been able to find would be getting a Masters in Fine Arts, focusing on digital media (but that drops a lot of the CS side of everything, something I really don't want).

So essentially I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I am working my butt off and getting to know a little bit about the world while I am here, so that in a few months I will actually be able to decide what I want to do with life, the universe, and everything.